Day 2 - Meeting Cooper

On Monday March 21, 2016 we were finally able to meet our son Cooper. It also happened to be world Down syndrome day which was a fun coincidence. It was a pretty surreal experience but just for the record I’ll attempt to describe it. Brady and I had been anticipating this day so long we were really excited but felt unexpectedly calm and peaceful.

We enjoyed watching all of the people and crazy traffic during the taxi ride to the orphanage. There is always so much going on in this colossal city its a little hard to soak it all in. Our van pulled up to the gates outside a brightly colored building and honked. The gates opened and in we went. We walked quickly through the cool crisp smoggy air into the bright old building. All the walls were white but not bare. They were covered with pictures of groups of smiling children in brightly colored frames. It made me happy to see all of the bright colors and the pride they took in displaying the pictures of the children. Inside the meeting room they had a nice welcome sign for us up on the big screen.

We signed and fingerprinted more papers and then meet the director of the orphanage. He told us our son wasn’t there, his orphanage was actually 40 minutes away from there but they said he was on his way. We had thought we were going to his orphanage but apparently the meetings take place at the main orphanage which wasn’t where he was. The director told us that he knew our boy though, he said Cooper had participated in a dance at a recent festival they had and that now everyone knew him because he stole the show. We had only been sitting there for a few minutes when all of the sudden in walked our boy and his care taker. He was dressed up nicely in a couple layers of warm clothes and looked much older and bigger than I had expected. I bent down in front of him and he showed me his car while his nanny told him I was his mama and Brady his papa. He was sizing us up but he didn’t look afraid so I scoop him up and set him on my lap. He was anxious and willing to let me starting playing with his car with him. Brady tried to join in on the fun too but Cooper wasn’t so sure. It only took a minute of dad running the car up and down his arms and over the top of his head and Cooper thought he was okay too. We sat there and held him and played with the car while we asked questions to the nanny with the help of our wonderful translator.

Again we were happy to hear how well the staff had cared for and loved our son.

We exchanged gifts, took some pictures, and gave hugs to the caretaker and just like that she was gone. Cooper didn’t seem to mind but I saw some sadness in the caretaker’s eyes as she quickly left. The sadness was quickly gone through because as soon as she walked out another woman, the head director of all the orphanages and her assistant walked in. They were all smiles and cheerfulness. She greeted us graciously and told us what a star and a treasure our boy is. She presented us with a plate with a painting on it that represents a drop of the Haihe River which runs though and gives life to Tianjin. She said this is so he can always remember where his life started. She also presented us with a nice photo album that has all the pictures they have of Cooper in it. She wanted to open it and show us the picture of him in the dance at the festival. It’s darling! When Cooper saw the book and all the pictures of himself he got so excited! He took the book and looked at every page just pointing to himself and saying “me, me, me” in Chinese. He made sure everyone in the room saw his book and he was just eating up all of the praise and attention everyone was giving him. It was sweet to see his confidence and charisma.

Again we exchanged gifts with the orphanage directors, took pictures and said good bye. Then we were off for our 24 hour “harmonious period.” First we had to stop at the bank to exchange some money. An hour into it and Cooper was sweating to death in his double layer of clothes so we took one off and he was still just as happy as a clam.

Finally we made it back to the hotel and into our room where it was just Brady, Cooper and I. We thought at some point he might realize how different this was and get scared or sad but the crazy thing is, its not really that different. We feel like we’ve know him forever. We are amazed how much he is like Nash and we can’t stop smiling about that. We had some pizza for lunch, he took a nap, we went to the park, and on a nice walk where he pointed out everything that he thought was interesting. At bedtime he went to sleep smiling and hugging his Idaho potato. We really couldn’t have asked for a better day! We want to sincerely thank everyone for their prayers. It’s been nothing short of a miracle!

 

Washing away the orphanage life.

Gotta love that smile!

Day 1 - Exploring China

China is incredible! We love it! Brady and I got up early this morning and walked down to the Forbidden City. At first there weren't many people out on the streets but as time went on the streets became more and more crowded. We went inside the gates to see the palace but the best part was just watching all of the people. So many people! Lots of old men sitting around smoking and enjoying the morning sun, women laughing and talking, young people with selfie sticks taking pictures, kids with giant headbands and brightly colored coats. It was fun walking through the old streets back to our hotel. Right now they are just coming out of their winter season and you can see buds starting to appear on all of the trees. In a few more weeks it will probably look different with all of the green out. Back at the hotel we met up with our guide. Her name is Vivian. She is from Beijing and works with our adoption agency. She has been so great to let us ask her questions about China all day long. It's nice having someone who can explain things to us in English. We drove through the city to the Great Wall on the out skirts of Beijing. It was amazing to see. We hiked up to the highest point of that section. The steps are steep and uneven so you really have to concentrate on where you're going. Our legs were shaking by the time we got back down. We had lunch a nice Chinese lunch of fried rice and chicken then went back into Beijing to the train station. It was the craziest train station we've ever been in and once again we were glad Vivian was there to help us. The train ride to Tianjin is a great way to see how the metropolitan area melts into the agricultural land. When you first leave the station you pass building after building of high rise apartments. One thing that I thought was funny about these apartment buildings were all of the wire cages that are popping out around the windows. Many of them were filled with junk. We asked Vivian about it and she said that is how they make their living space bigger. They put a chain link compartment out around their window and then they can store stuff out there. Once we got past all of the high rise buildings, the landscape was very flat and there were fields and ditches everywhere. Many of the fields had many people out working in them. It looked like they were planting something. Every once in awhile there would be a small village with about 100 or so little cinder block type homes. Vivian said this is where the peasants who work the fields live. It was fascinating to see how dramatically the lifestyle changes the further you get from the city centers. I thought the country side was beautiful and was glad we got to see a small glimpse of it before we pulled back into the robust city of Tianjin. Tianjin, what a place! There is a big river that runs though Tianjin so back in the day it was a harbor city with lots of colonial influence but now with the big population boom of the last few decades they have added tons of sky scrapers and modern buildings. The city has a unique mix of old and new, poverty and wealth. Such a fascinating place. The best part about it is that this is our son's city and in the morning we will get to meet him! We're so excited! Hopefully he likes us!

Lovin' the Chinese food!

We arrived at the Forbidden City early in the morning. The sun was trying to rise through the smog.

Walking back to the hotel we passes hundreds of these mopeds equipped with blankets and hand mittens.

 The Great Wall of China

 We packed Spuddy Buddy up there to get some RODS pics with him.

Pretty incredible where this wall goes and how it was made.

 Out at the great wall we were above most of the smog.

You can see a thick layer of smog down in the valley.

Train station

 Arriving in Tianjin

Looking down at the park from our hotel window.

                                          

View of Tianjin from our hotel window.

One Step Closer to China

We’re finally off and we couldn’t be more excited! It’s strange how similar child birth and adoption are. There is just no easy way to add to your family. It’s always a miracle! None of our children’s births ever went like we planned. Growing a family is always a good faith building exercise.
This morning Brady received a text saying that our flight from SLC to Seattle had been delayed just long enough that we wouldn’t be able to make our connecting flight to Beijing. He called Delta to see what options we had. They said we could wait and fly out on the 20^th.  Not happening. We are in what I would call “the labor” phase of this adoption. And everyone knows that during labor you don’t mess around. You just do what has to be done and you do it quickly. Brady explained the situation and just about went through the phone when the guy at the other end wasn’t going to do anything to help him. I just smiled when I heard him say, “You don’t understand! We’ve been working on this for a year. We have to catch our flight to Beijing today!” After being transferred and explaining the situation again and after exerting a little more pleading, patience, persistence and money, he was able to get us on an earlier flight. Good bye last minute plans to be completely and calmly ready, hello race to the airport. Like I said, it’s the labor phase, always exciting! We are blessed to have such a great team of people helping us! Now that we’ve made it onto our first flight we can take a deep breath and try to enjoy the experience. That brings me to my next train of thought…

Love. Isn’t love cool? It’s the only thing that I can think of that grows and gets bigger and stronger the more you give it away. I wish I understood better what love is and how it works but I do know that it is directly interconnected to God. For the past few weeks Nash has been randomly singing one of his favorite primary songs, “I Am A Child of God”. He has his own version and it goes like this, “I am a child of God and so are my parents, kind and dear.” It has moved me to tears more than once hearing his angelic voice sing these truths because he is right and I know he his. I have always believed that God is the creator of us all and that He loves all of his children but though this adoption process I have come to recognize that truth in my heart more strongly than ever. I know that God does love His children and He has a plan for every one of us on this earth. There will always be trial, heartache, and adversity to overcome but I honestly believe that without that we wouldn’t be able to experience true joy and happiness. I can’t wait to give Cooper a little more love. Not just from myself, but from God because we are his hands on this earth, and from all of the family and friends rooting for him back home.

Introducing...Cooper Michael Murray

We're dying of excitement today! Exactly one month from today we will have the newest member of our family, Cooper Michael in our arms! It feels like its been an extremely slow and long adoption process but now that we have our flights booked, final appointments in China scheduled, and things prepared for Cooper to come home its hard to contain the excitement we feel.
One question that Brady and I have been asked frequently over the last several months as we've told people about our adoption is, "How did you decide to do that?" or "What made you decide to do that?" We're never quite sure how to answer because we can't really pin it down to a specific moment, event or experience. For some reason Brady and I began talking about adoption even before we started talking about marriage. We had both had different experiences in our lives that had left us with favorable impressions of adoption. After we got married and began our own family, we continued to have experiences that left us feeling like adoption would be an even bigger part of our lives even though we didn't know where, when or how. We continued to be blessed with special opportunities to be involved with the adoption community as our family grew. Last spring Brady and I both began to have those quite promptings or feelings that it was time for us to look into an adoption of our own. After a quiet peaceful weekend listening to and pondering counsel spoken by prophets we love, and after counseling with our children, we felt prepared and ready to begin the adoption journey for our family. Trying to find the right child for our family was difficult but as we sought God's help we received the inspiration we needed to be guided to a sweet little three year old boy who has Down syndrome in Tianjin China. We saw this picture and couldn't help but smile at this cute little boy showing off his balance.

We inquired and were given his file which we reviewed. We were also shown several more pictures.

We were smitten and so excited at the possibility of having him in our family, not just Brady and I but the children too. We kept looking at his pictures and couldn't stop talking about our brother/son in China. Every time Nash saw his picture he would get so excited and say, "Look! It's me!" We wrote our Child Care Plan and Application to Adopt Letter as quickly as we could and sent it off to China. On May 5, 2015 we received our Notice of Approval back from China which gave us the green light to go ahead and begin the legal/paperwork part of adoption. We were also able to send our little Zhang Tong Jiang a small package of treats, toys, and a photo album of us and his new home. And in return the orphanage sent us some updated pictures.

 

He is darling! Of course we wanted to do everything as quickly as possible even though our agency told us to plan on 12-14 months. We worked as quickly as we could on our home study and dossier prep. It feels like it takes months for certified copies of birth and marriage certificates, medical reports, police clearance and criminal history records to be all properly notarized and authenticated. We felt like we were making good progress and had all of the certified documents and home study ready to submit by the end of July. Then our next step was to submit paperwork and get fingerprinting appointments with the CIS, Civilian Immigration Services, so we could get approval for Cooper to be issued a visa to come to the US. This was like running into a brick wall. It took months longer than we had hoped and there wasn't anything we could do about it. It was hard to know another birthday without his family had come and gone when he turned four in December. We had hoped to be able to do a Skype call for his birthday or Christmas but it never worked out. We did get more updated pictures and a short video though.

 

 

 On Christmas day we were all just dreaming of next year when we'll be celebrating with Cooper. Finally the dossier and every piece of paperwork had been stamped, and translated and passed back and forth between our countries enough times that our final approval and permission to travel came in January. Another month and a half of working with our adoption agency, getting our visas and consulate appointment and planning the details of our trip and we'll be traveling in March!

We know its going to dramatically rock Zhang Tong Jiangs world when we show up and he suddenly becomes Cooper Michael. We'll take him from the only life he's ever know into a completely different one. New language, new name, new people, new places, new food, new routine, new experiences, everything will be new. Naturally we are expecting that it will take time and patience as he processes and adapts to his new world. We are not afraid or worried. We know there will be bumps in the road but it doesn't matter, we just love him. He's not alone and we're not alone. We are expecting to continue to see miracles as he experiences the love of his new family.

Love is a powerful force.