Day 4 - City Tour Day

   

March 23. Today we got to tour some of the city. Vivian has been such an excellent translator, guide and host. Her enthusiasm for China is contagious. We love hearing her insight and have been so impressed with her loyalty and devotion to her country. For example, we were asking her why they can’t use Facebook and Google. She told us that the government thought long and hard about this decision and that they did not feel it was right for their country, so if they want to honor the decision then they don’t use those things. She said it is easy to download a VPN and use them anyway, (now we feel guilty) but that most people don’t because they are respectful of the government’s decision. One thing that feels different here is the sense of community that people have. Little community parks are all over and they are always packed with people. The typical retirement age in China is 45, so in the morning the parks are full of retired people and kids who aren’t in school yet. They come out and dance/stretch/exercise to music together. I love watching it.

Brady getting some exercise with his smog mask.

Typically grandparents live with their child and his/her spouse. They take care of their grandchild when he/she is not in school while the parents who are working age work. Everyone goes home for lunch. Later in the afternoon everyone is back at the park. Groups of women talking and lots of men sitting around in groups playing a game that looks kind of like chess. Also around the outskirts of the parks there is a little trail so many people walk laps around the park. When the kids get done with school around 5:30 the parks are really hopping with people for another hour but then they all go home for dinner and things quiet down. At our hotel we are on the 22^nd floor, I love looking out the window at 6:30 to watch all of the people streaming out of buildings and heading for home. Many walk but there are also thousands of bicycles and scooters and of course lots of cars too. Almost every bike is equipped with a basket and all of the scooters have built in gloves stuck on the handle bars, and a built in blanket to keep them warm during the cold season. We drove though some different parts of town. There is an Italian section and a European section. We ended up at an old Chinese market place around a Chinese temple. We had fun wandering through the market place trying Chinese candy, looking at carvings made out of Jade, picking out fans and souvenirs for the kids and of course people watching. Cooper seemed to have fun at the market place too, he liked looking at what everyone was selling and he especially liked it when we’d pass an animal.

In the evening Cooper and I went over to the park. He love playing on the slide. A group of kids around Brynlee’s age kept come over and staring at me. They would say “hello” and then laugh and run away. Finally one of the boys got really brave, he said, “Hello, do you speak English?” I said yes. He said “How are you? Do you like my shirt?” I responded and he ran away but it broke the ice. The whole group started showing off their English for me. It was so cute. They told me their American names and they knew a lot of words and sentences about their clothes and the colors of their clothes. I don’t think they could understand much of what I said though. It was pretty funny. We were having a good time but it started getting pretty loud when they all started chanting a rhythm about a tall man and a short woman together. An older lady came over and said something to them in Chinese and they all stopped and ran off. No one really has biological cousins or aunts and uncles here, so maybe that is another reason why the communities seem to be so connected. I don’t know but I like this place.

Day 3 - Paperwork Day

Tuesday March 22. We woke up early and were able to Facetime again with our sweet kids at home as they were getting ready for bed. They love seeing their new brother and are so excited for us to come home. Nash tells us, “bring my Cooper home”, Mason blows us kisses, Ridge teases his dad about not practicing baseball and Bryn gets us up to speed on all the other happenings at home. We miss them and wish they could be here but are glad Grandma is there to take care of them. The weather today is cool and overcast. At least it seems overcast. Sometimes it hard to tell the difference between cloud cover and smog. Our first stop is at the office of the notary, or the place where they keep “the family books.” Every person has their own page in their family book. Cooper’s page is in the book of abandoned persons. It has the record of the details of where and when they found him, the search for his parents and the newspaper clipping with his photo, the information from his finding and it asks for anyone to come forth with any information that can help him locate his family. After 60 days, no information was reported so there was another short paragraph from the newspaper saying that he now belongs to the Children’s Welfare Institute of Tianjin.

Today the notary office takes our first official family photo. Brady and I with cute Cooper standing between us. We sign and fingerprint more papers. The director from the orphanage comes and signs more papers too. We wait and they move Coopers page (and change his name) from the book of abandoned persons to the book of adoptees. They give us a paper with our picture on it and an official seal. The adoption is now “final”and legal.

Zhang Tong Jiang is now known as Cooper Michael Murray in the family books but our work isn’t done yet because now this cute little Chinese citizen with an American name and American parents needs to immigrate and become an American citizen too. We leave the notary office a gift. Then it’s off to the police station where we begin the process of obtaining Cooper’s passport. It’s a busy crowded place and I don’t understand anything anyone is saying but Cooper smiles for his picture and he makes friends with a cute little girl who shares her treats with him. The Grandma proudly tells our interpreter that the little girl is also American Chinese. We’ve been getting lot of stares and I’ve been wondering what people think. I like this lady a lot for being so kind and accepting.

Our next stop is at another government building. This place is also old and crowded and reeks of heavy thick cigarette smoke. They take us into a room with a giant wooden circular table covered in heavy clear plastic to protect it. We sit down at the grossly oversized table to look over paperwork and make sure all of the dates and spellings are correct and that all of the translations into English are cohesive and proper. They have copied parts of the adoption paperwork into 9 different booklets. We check them all and don’t find any mistakes. We sign more papers. I smile as I think of the hundreds of papers we’ve signed. Our adoption coordinator told us in the beginning that the Chinese love paperwork. She wasn’t exaggerating.

Now our interpreter tells us it is time for the interview. The lady helping us with the paperwork asks us two questions, “why do you want to adopt?” and “are you aware of your son’s medical diagnosis?” We smile and answer. No smile in return this lady is strictly business but I guess we pass the test because they say we can present our gift and leave. I hand her the gift bag and then she smiles. I think word is getting out that we brought Katie Bee honey for all of the officials and they are pumped! We climb back into our van taxi and slowly make our way back through the bustling streets to the orphanage where we met Cooper. It seems like we’ve been through a time warp since being there just over 24 hours ago. This time as the overcast sky is trying its hardest to let out a few drops of rain the building doesn’t look as bright and inviting. Cooper needs to use the restroom so they take us into part of the orphanage where the children are. We can hear them having a class. Cooper and I go into the restroom and Brady, Vivian and the director go into the class to wait for us. The restroom is cold and uncomfortable but Cooper doesn’t seem to mind. I look around at the tiny toilets and sinks, the wet clothes hanging to dry and it becomes apparent that as much as the nannies love the kids, they still don’t have the amenities of a home or family. Suddenly I am glad that we didn’t get a tour of the orphanage. I have a lump in my throat as we wash Cooper’s hands and met the others back in the hall. The classroom door is closed and I can’t see the kids but I hear them talking and laughing and I wish we were bringing them all home. We take the elevator up to the offices and make our donation to the orphanage and pay the announcement fee. We take the elevator back downstairs and walk out of a building with a few of the children and nannies who are leaving to go somewhere in a van. They are happy for Cooper and wish him well and say good bye. We climb back in our van, the smoky air is suffocating. I see a couple small drops of rain on the window. I want it to rain, I think please let it pour. Let it pour and wash this dusty city clean. It doesn’t. Vivian and our taxi driver are excited. Vivian was able to get the exact location of Cooper abandonment from the family books. It is close by and they are taking us there now. After making several wrong turns we pull up at the gate where he was found. It doesn’t look like a factory gate. It looks like a thousand other gates we have passed. I watch Cooper. He is happy to follow us around and smile for pictures. I try to imagine the scene in that spot 3 and ½ years before. There are too many what ifs and maybes.

I really can’t imagine it. But as we get back in the van, I remember the starfish story and the hopelessness starts to leave. The sun comes back out and the van heats up. By the time we reach the hotel Cooper is sweating and sleeping peacefully on my shoulder.

       

Day 2 - Meeting Cooper

On Monday March 21, 2016 we were finally able to meet our son Cooper. It also happened to be world Down syndrome day which was a fun coincidence. It was a pretty surreal experience but just for the record I’ll attempt to describe it. Brady and I had been anticipating this day so long we were really excited but felt unexpectedly calm and peaceful.

We enjoyed watching all of the people and crazy traffic during the taxi ride to the orphanage. There is always so much going on in this colossal city its a little hard to soak it all in. Our van pulled up to the gates outside a brightly colored building and honked. The gates opened and in we went. We walked quickly through the cool crisp smoggy air into the bright old building. All the walls were white but not bare. They were covered with pictures of groups of smiling children in brightly colored frames. It made me happy to see all of the bright colors and the pride they took in displaying the pictures of the children. Inside the meeting room they had a nice welcome sign for us up on the big screen.

We signed and fingerprinted more papers and then meet the director of the orphanage. He told us our son wasn’t there, his orphanage was actually 40 minutes away from there but they said he was on his way. We had thought we were going to his orphanage but apparently the meetings take place at the main orphanage which wasn’t where he was. The director told us that he knew our boy though, he said Cooper had participated in a dance at a recent festival they had and that now everyone knew him because he stole the show. We had only been sitting there for a few minutes when all of the sudden in walked our boy and his care taker. He was dressed up nicely in a couple layers of warm clothes and looked much older and bigger than I had expected. I bent down in front of him and he showed me his car while his nanny told him I was his mama and Brady his papa. He was sizing us up but he didn’t look afraid so I scoop him up and set him on my lap. He was anxious and willing to let me starting playing with his car with him. Brady tried to join in on the fun too but Cooper wasn’t so sure. It only took a minute of dad running the car up and down his arms and over the top of his head and Cooper thought he was okay too. We sat there and held him and played with the car while we asked questions to the nanny with the help of our wonderful translator.

Again we were happy to hear how well the staff had cared for and loved our son.

We exchanged gifts, took some pictures, and gave hugs to the caretaker and just like that she was gone. Cooper didn’t seem to mind but I saw some sadness in the caretaker’s eyes as she quickly left. The sadness was quickly gone through because as soon as she walked out another woman, the head director of all the orphanages and her assistant walked in. They were all smiles and cheerfulness. She greeted us graciously and told us what a star and a treasure our boy is. She presented us with a plate with a painting on it that represents a drop of the Haihe River which runs though and gives life to Tianjin. She said this is so he can always remember where his life started. She also presented us with a nice photo album that has all the pictures they have of Cooper in it. She wanted to open it and show us the picture of him in the dance at the festival. It’s darling! When Cooper saw the book and all the pictures of himself he got so excited! He took the book and looked at every page just pointing to himself and saying “me, me, me” in Chinese. He made sure everyone in the room saw his book and he was just eating up all of the praise and attention everyone was giving him. It was sweet to see his confidence and charisma.

Again we exchanged gifts with the orphanage directors, took pictures and said good bye. Then we were off for our 24 hour “harmonious period.” First we had to stop at the bank to exchange some money. An hour into it and Cooper was sweating to death in his double layer of clothes so we took one off and he was still just as happy as a clam.

Finally we made it back to the hotel and into our room where it was just Brady, Cooper and I. We thought at some point he might realize how different this was and get scared or sad but the crazy thing is, its not really that different. We feel like we’ve know him forever. We are amazed how much he is like Nash and we can’t stop smiling about that. We had some pizza for lunch, he took a nap, we went to the park, and on a nice walk where he pointed out everything that he thought was interesting. At bedtime he went to sleep smiling and hugging his Idaho potato. We really couldn’t have asked for a better day! We want to sincerely thank everyone for their prayers. It’s been nothing short of a miracle!

 

Washing away the orphanage life.

Gotta love that smile!