Day 3 - Paperwork Day

Tuesday March 22. We woke up early and were able to Facetime again with our sweet kids at home as they were getting ready for bed. They love seeing their new brother and are so excited for us to come home. Nash tells us, “bring my Cooper home”, Mason blows us kisses, Ridge teases his dad about not practicing baseball and Bryn gets us up to speed on all the other happenings at home. We miss them and wish they could be here but are glad Grandma is there to take care of them. The weather today is cool and overcast. At least it seems overcast. Sometimes it hard to tell the difference between cloud cover and smog. Our first stop is at the office of the notary, or the place where they keep “the family books.” Every person has their own page in their family book. Cooper’s page is in the book of abandoned persons. It has the record of the details of where and when they found him, the search for his parents and the newspaper clipping with his photo, the information from his finding and it asks for anyone to come forth with any information that can help him locate his family. After 60 days, no information was reported so there was another short paragraph from the newspaper saying that he now belongs to the Children’s Welfare Institute of Tianjin.

Today the notary office takes our first official family photo. Brady and I with cute Cooper standing between us. We sign and fingerprint more papers. The director from the orphanage comes and signs more papers too. We wait and they move Coopers page (and change his name) from the book of abandoned persons to the book of adoptees. They give us a paper with our picture on it and an official seal. The adoption is now “final”and legal.

Zhang Tong Jiang is now known as Cooper Michael Murray in the family books but our work isn’t done yet because now this cute little Chinese citizen with an American name and American parents needs to immigrate and become an American citizen too. We leave the notary office a gift. Then it’s off to the police station where we begin the process of obtaining Cooper’s passport. It’s a busy crowded place and I don’t understand anything anyone is saying but Cooper smiles for his picture and he makes friends with a cute little girl who shares her treats with him. The Grandma proudly tells our interpreter that the little girl is also American Chinese. We’ve been getting lot of stares and I’ve been wondering what people think. I like this lady a lot for being so kind and accepting.

Our next stop is at another government building. This place is also old and crowded and reeks of heavy thick cigarette smoke. They take us into a room with a giant wooden circular table covered in heavy clear plastic to protect it. We sit down at the grossly oversized table to look over paperwork and make sure all of the dates and spellings are correct and that all of the translations into English are cohesive and proper. They have copied parts of the adoption paperwork into 9 different booklets. We check them all and don’t find any mistakes. We sign more papers. I smile as I think of the hundreds of papers we’ve signed. Our adoption coordinator told us in the beginning that the Chinese love paperwork. She wasn’t exaggerating.

Now our interpreter tells us it is time for the interview. The lady helping us with the paperwork asks us two questions, “why do you want to adopt?” and “are you aware of your son’s medical diagnosis?” We smile and answer. No smile in return this lady is strictly business but I guess we pass the test because they say we can present our gift and leave. I hand her the gift bag and then she smiles. I think word is getting out that we brought Katie Bee honey for all of the officials and they are pumped! We climb back into our van taxi and slowly make our way back through the bustling streets to the orphanage where we met Cooper. It seems like we’ve been through a time warp since being there just over 24 hours ago. This time as the overcast sky is trying its hardest to let out a few drops of rain the building doesn’t look as bright and inviting. Cooper needs to use the restroom so they take us into part of the orphanage where the children are. We can hear them having a class. Cooper and I go into the restroom and Brady, Vivian and the director go into the class to wait for us. The restroom is cold and uncomfortable but Cooper doesn’t seem to mind. I look around at the tiny toilets and sinks, the wet clothes hanging to dry and it becomes apparent that as much as the nannies love the kids, they still don’t have the amenities of a home or family. Suddenly I am glad that we didn’t get a tour of the orphanage. I have a lump in my throat as we wash Cooper’s hands and met the others back in the hall. The classroom door is closed and I can’t see the kids but I hear them talking and laughing and I wish we were bringing them all home. We take the elevator up to the offices and make our donation to the orphanage and pay the announcement fee. We take the elevator back downstairs and walk out of a building with a few of the children and nannies who are leaving to go somewhere in a van. They are happy for Cooper and wish him well and say good bye. We climb back in our van, the smoky air is suffocating. I see a couple small drops of rain on the window. I want it to rain, I think please let it pour. Let it pour and wash this dusty city clean. It doesn’t. Vivian and our taxi driver are excited. Vivian was able to get the exact location of Cooper abandonment from the family books. It is close by and they are taking us there now. After making several wrong turns we pull up at the gate where he was found. It doesn’t look like a factory gate. It looks like a thousand other gates we have passed. I watch Cooper. He is happy to follow us around and smile for pictures. I try to imagine the scene in that spot 3 and ½ years before. There are too many what ifs and maybes.

I really can’t imagine it. But as we get back in the van, I remember the starfish story and the hopelessness starts to leave. The sun comes back out and the van heats up. By the time we reach the hotel Cooper is sweating and sleeping peacefully on my shoulder.

       

Day 2 - Meeting Cooper

On Monday March 21, 2016 we were finally able to meet our son Cooper. It also happened to be world Down syndrome day which was a fun coincidence. It was a pretty surreal experience but just for the record I’ll attempt to describe it. Brady and I had been anticipating this day so long we were really excited but felt unexpectedly calm and peaceful.

We enjoyed watching all of the people and crazy traffic during the taxi ride to the orphanage. There is always so much going on in this colossal city its a little hard to soak it all in. Our van pulled up to the gates outside a brightly colored building and honked. The gates opened and in we went. We walked quickly through the cool crisp smoggy air into the bright old building. All the walls were white but not bare. They were covered with pictures of groups of smiling children in brightly colored frames. It made me happy to see all of the bright colors and the pride they took in displaying the pictures of the children. Inside the meeting room they had a nice welcome sign for us up on the big screen.

We signed and fingerprinted more papers and then meet the director of the orphanage. He told us our son wasn’t there, his orphanage was actually 40 minutes away from there but they said he was on his way. We had thought we were going to his orphanage but apparently the meetings take place at the main orphanage which wasn’t where he was. The director told us that he knew our boy though, he said Cooper had participated in a dance at a recent festival they had and that now everyone knew him because he stole the show. We had only been sitting there for a few minutes when all of the sudden in walked our boy and his care taker. He was dressed up nicely in a couple layers of warm clothes and looked much older and bigger than I had expected. I bent down in front of him and he showed me his car while his nanny told him I was his mama and Brady his papa. He was sizing us up but he didn’t look afraid so I scoop him up and set him on my lap. He was anxious and willing to let me starting playing with his car with him. Brady tried to join in on the fun too but Cooper wasn’t so sure. It only took a minute of dad running the car up and down his arms and over the top of his head and Cooper thought he was okay too. We sat there and held him and played with the car while we asked questions to the nanny with the help of our wonderful translator.

Again we were happy to hear how well the staff had cared for and loved our son.

We exchanged gifts, took some pictures, and gave hugs to the caretaker and just like that she was gone. Cooper didn’t seem to mind but I saw some sadness in the caretaker’s eyes as she quickly left. The sadness was quickly gone through because as soon as she walked out another woman, the head director of all the orphanages and her assistant walked in. They were all smiles and cheerfulness. She greeted us graciously and told us what a star and a treasure our boy is. She presented us with a plate with a painting on it that represents a drop of the Haihe River which runs though and gives life to Tianjin. She said this is so he can always remember where his life started. She also presented us with a nice photo album that has all the pictures they have of Cooper in it. She wanted to open it and show us the picture of him in the dance at the festival. It’s darling! When Cooper saw the book and all the pictures of himself he got so excited! He took the book and looked at every page just pointing to himself and saying “me, me, me” in Chinese. He made sure everyone in the room saw his book and he was just eating up all of the praise and attention everyone was giving him. It was sweet to see his confidence and charisma.

Again we exchanged gifts with the orphanage directors, took pictures and said good bye. Then we were off for our 24 hour “harmonious period.” First we had to stop at the bank to exchange some money. An hour into it and Cooper was sweating to death in his double layer of clothes so we took one off and he was still just as happy as a clam.

Finally we made it back to the hotel and into our room where it was just Brady, Cooper and I. We thought at some point he might realize how different this was and get scared or sad but the crazy thing is, its not really that different. We feel like we’ve know him forever. We are amazed how much he is like Nash and we can’t stop smiling about that. We had some pizza for lunch, he took a nap, we went to the park, and on a nice walk where he pointed out everything that he thought was interesting. At bedtime he went to sleep smiling and hugging his Idaho potato. We really couldn’t have asked for a better day! We want to sincerely thank everyone for their prayers. It’s been nothing short of a miracle!

 

Washing away the orphanage life.

Gotta love that smile!

Day 1 - Exploring China

China is incredible! We love it! Brady and I got up early this morning and walked down to the Forbidden City. At first there weren't many people out on the streets but as time went on the streets became more and more crowded. We went inside the gates to see the palace but the best part was just watching all of the people. So many people! Lots of old men sitting around smoking and enjoying the morning sun, women laughing and talking, young people with selfie sticks taking pictures, kids with giant headbands and brightly colored coats. It was fun walking through the old streets back to our hotel. Right now they are just coming out of their winter season and you can see buds starting to appear on all of the trees. In a few more weeks it will probably look different with all of the green out. Back at the hotel we met up with our guide. Her name is Vivian. She is from Beijing and works with our adoption agency. She has been so great to let us ask her questions about China all day long. It's nice having someone who can explain things to us in English. We drove through the city to the Great Wall on the out skirts of Beijing. It was amazing to see. We hiked up to the highest point of that section. The steps are steep and uneven so you really have to concentrate on where you're going. Our legs were shaking by the time we got back down. We had lunch a nice Chinese lunch of fried rice and chicken then went back into Beijing to the train station. It was the craziest train station we've ever been in and once again we were glad Vivian was there to help us. The train ride to Tianjin is a great way to see how the metropolitan area melts into the agricultural land. When you first leave the station you pass building after building of high rise apartments. One thing that I thought was funny about these apartment buildings were all of the wire cages that are popping out around the windows. Many of them were filled with junk. We asked Vivian about it and she said that is how they make their living space bigger. They put a chain link compartment out around their window and then they can store stuff out there. Once we got past all of the high rise buildings, the landscape was very flat and there were fields and ditches everywhere. Many of the fields had many people out working in them. It looked like they were planting something. Every once in awhile there would be a small village with about 100 or so little cinder block type homes. Vivian said this is where the peasants who work the fields live. It was fascinating to see how dramatically the lifestyle changes the further you get from the city centers. I thought the country side was beautiful and was glad we got to see a small glimpse of it before we pulled back into the robust city of Tianjin. Tianjin, what a place! There is a big river that runs though Tianjin so back in the day it was a harbor city with lots of colonial influence but now with the big population boom of the last few decades they have added tons of sky scrapers and modern buildings. The city has a unique mix of old and new, poverty and wealth. Such a fascinating place. The best part about it is that this is our son's city and in the morning we will get to meet him! We're so excited! Hopefully he likes us!

Lovin' the Chinese food!

We arrived at the Forbidden City early in the morning. The sun was trying to rise through the smog.

Walking back to the hotel we passes hundreds of these mopeds equipped with blankets and hand mittens.

 The Great Wall of China

 We packed Spuddy Buddy up there to get some RODS pics with him.

Pretty incredible where this wall goes and how it was made.

 Out at the great wall we were above most of the smog.

You can see a thick layer of smog down in the valley.

Train station

 Arriving in Tianjin

Looking down at the park from our hotel window.

                                          

View of Tianjin from our hotel window.

One Step Closer to China

We’re finally off and we couldn’t be more excited! It’s strange how similar child birth and adoption are. There is just no easy way to add to your family. It’s always a miracle! None of our children’s births ever went like we planned. Growing a family is always a good faith building exercise.
This morning Brady received a text saying that our flight from SLC to Seattle had been delayed just long enough that we wouldn’t be able to make our connecting flight to Beijing. He called Delta to see what options we had. They said we could wait and fly out on the 20^th.  Not happening. We are in what I would call “the labor” phase of this adoption. And everyone knows that during labor you don’t mess around. You just do what has to be done and you do it quickly. Brady explained the situation and just about went through the phone when the guy at the other end wasn’t going to do anything to help him. I just smiled when I heard him say, “You don’t understand! We’ve been working on this for a year. We have to catch our flight to Beijing today!” After being transferred and explaining the situation again and after exerting a little more pleading, patience, persistence and money, he was able to get us on an earlier flight. Good bye last minute plans to be completely and calmly ready, hello race to the airport. Like I said, it’s the labor phase, always exciting! We are blessed to have such a great team of people helping us! Now that we’ve made it onto our first flight we can take a deep breath and try to enjoy the experience. That brings me to my next train of thought…

Love. Isn’t love cool? It’s the only thing that I can think of that grows and gets bigger and stronger the more you give it away. I wish I understood better what love is and how it works but I do know that it is directly interconnected to God. For the past few weeks Nash has been randomly singing one of his favorite primary songs, “I Am A Child of God”. He has his own version and it goes like this, “I am a child of God and so are my parents, kind and dear.” It has moved me to tears more than once hearing his angelic voice sing these truths because he is right and I know he his. I have always believed that God is the creator of us all and that He loves all of his children but though this adoption process I have come to recognize that truth in my heart more strongly than ever. I know that God does love His children and He has a plan for every one of us on this earth. There will always be trial, heartache, and adversity to overcome but I honestly believe that without that we wouldn’t be able to experience true joy and happiness. I can’t wait to give Cooper a little more love. Not just from myself, but from God because we are his hands on this earth, and from all of the family and friends rooting for him back home.